all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
