Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I looked at my own cervix.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
