his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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