I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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