I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
