Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
