Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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