Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
