there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
