The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
