Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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