you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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