On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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