She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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