screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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