I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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