Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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