I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
