I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
