I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
