Little spoons don't ask big questions
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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