He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
