Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
