Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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