According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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