it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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