idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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