I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
