I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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