my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
