they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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