yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
