I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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