I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
