We're facebook friends in real life
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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