why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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