don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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