I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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