I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
