Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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