Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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