If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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