I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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