He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
