I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
