you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
