addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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