just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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