just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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