does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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