You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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