After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
